She casually reminds The Liars of the witnesses (AS IF WE DIDNT KNOW, MOM) and drops a bomb about Mrs. But Emily's made it pretty clear over the last three seasons that's she's too attractive to be have been blessed with common sense.Įmily's mom then shows up and is #sosad about Detective Wilden. She's making plans with Mona and Emily's pretty pissed about it. Nothing better than a beautiful shot of Hefty Hanna just being sassy and having telephonic conversations. But that shit cray.Īnd FINALLY we cut to Hanna on the phone. Then there are creepy children with dolls being creepy and terrifying and honestly, it's probably too stressful to relive. Mona's computer then gets wiped (in the nick of time) by a remote server. She goes over a bunch of things that would have been MIND-BLOWING two seasons ago and eventually notes that Melissa is on the A team (again, two seasons late Mona Bear). No way it's a trap because nothing bad has ever happened in a lair. Mona then has to prove herself by showing the liars her lair. A sheet blows off something on the ground and it's none other than Detective Wilden himself. We then cut to The Liars doing a quick drive-by of the Trunk of Doom, as all casual 17 year-old girls do when they're obviously being framed for the murder of a potentially pedophiliac and definitely mother-banging officer of the law. Mona returns with creepy stalker coffee and #itsashbenzo does some pretty decent acting when she insists that Mona communicate her lie-laced devil words "in English." This honestly seems to be old hat at this points so I'll just move on. Then everyone wakes up and Mona's gone (OBVIOUSLY) and the liars discuss the possibility that they were drugged (again). Plus, everybody's probably going to die and at this point everyone watching this show has already crapped their pants with fear at some point so an A love affair really could be worse. She confirms that the resident obvious psycho and underdeveloped character Shana is in love with Jenna and no one really seems to care because that chick was sketchy and we kind of knew it (high fives all around). Some couple shows up and everybody's all like "LET'S GO." Then we get The Liars somewhere a little more private and Mona starts spewing some "truths" that are probably lies but are probably truths and everybody is really pissy about it (but not Hanna but also maybe Hanna). But then four seconds later, Hanna finds her burning the MamaMarin running over Wilden video onto some kind of a drive while she screams that she's "SAVING YOUR MOM." Cool, Mona. But Wait! Mona's missing from the newfound crew (obviously). 3) The pig is A (probably not, only because A is immortal).Įveryone takes a second to internalize the contents of the trunk and tries to leave (even Emily, who notoriously has no understanding of what is appropriate post-being-framed or pre-being-murdered etiquette). 2) Pigskin, aka Paige, aka the worst, is gonna die. This could mean one of three things: 1) The pig is a metaphor for the police circa 1995 and the entire Rosewood police department has been destroyed. For those of you that missed it (SPOILER ALERT!), it was a dead pig. Unsurprisingly, the contents of The Trunk of Doom were a huge disappointment giving us pretty much no information and completely making us feel like The Liars were being a wee bit melodramatic with their gif-able reaction faces (unless they're now kosher). Surprisingly, this episode actually began where it left off and showed us what was in the trunk (heretofore known as "The Trunk of Doom"). As you might recall, Aria is #Soover Fitz, some non-Caleb masked man/lady/'A' tried to feel up Hanna on a train o' death, a house was lit on fire, Toby was thereafter knocked out and The Liars were left screaming at some discovery found in the trunk of what was formerly Detective Wilden's cop car. All 14-year-old girls, 19-year-old sexually confused boys, and post-college, stimulation deprived 24 year-olds rejoice.Īs most episodes begin, we start with "previously on … " But this isn't any "previously on." This is the kind of "previously on" that makes your heart skip seven beats, your flight or or fight mode dial up to 17,000 and your "oh snap, I forgot that happened" meter go to 20.
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